The First One

"I believe that you and I 

Are in the right place, at the right time

God called us by name

And He doesn't make mistakes

I know we were born to shine bright

In a dark world that needed some light

Don't have to be afraid

Maybe we were made for these day..." 

- Jeremy Camp These Days

I was listening to this song while driving a few months ago and it really spoke to my heart. It is so easy to get bogged down! Like, we are politically, in a rut, it doesn't seem easy to love others, our cars go right into our garages and we shut them behind us, the TVs go on and we try, so hard to forget all that we endured during the day. For Christians, all around the world, we are facing persecution and the crushing weight of a culture that, at times, seems to be turning its back to us. You can really start to feel the pressure! At least...I feel this way. 

And anyway, what can a little nobody like me do anyway?! I am so unqualified for anything! Well, I poured my heart out, as I always do, to Joel. For a little more than a year now, I have been feeling that tug that I have felt repeatedly, all my life. The pull towards missions. Now, I (Melia) have been on the mission field a few times, lived in Botswana and South Korea, and have repeatedly tried to or been asked to go onto the mission field. This feeling had become more than a tug but an all out tug-of-war with God for the last year because of my encounter with God at Perspectives (a cross-cultural course that LITERALLY everyone should take). It led me to this conversation....

Me: "Perhaps, we are made for these days! Maybe, we are being called into missions! Do you think we could do it? Are you ready?"

Joel: "Well, you can start doing research and reaching out to people...we can see if God directs us that way." 

Me: "Really?!" 

Joel: "Sure. I mean, I have my last surgery coming up. I have always wanted to do it." 

WAIT hold the front door....This is the part where I am shocked because, in all the years I have known Joel...I had never heard this. However, it was November. Joel had his last of 24ish surgeries for his medical condition scheduled. A hip replacement and the last one went really poorly. For some reason, he felt like this "one can't be as bad as the last one" and, well, there wasn't another surgery scheduled till the hips needed to be replaced again....maybe this was the right time? 

Joel and I have been looking for the area in which God was calling us. Parenting? Well, in the face of infertility, maybe that would never happen for us? Foster care? Oh boy is that a story....Suffice it to say, it wasn't working out for our hearts or minds. Welcoming refugees into our home? Maybe but it never seemed to work out logistically. What could God be doing? 

Me: "You have? I mean, I have always wanted to do it myself and have brought it up a bunch of times..." 

Joel: "Every time I say no, I always knew there would be another surgery...so what is the point of making plans?"

       

So, needless to say, I started researching right away. I think, that very night, I wrote to some 10 organizations asking for information. A couple days later, I told my very dear friend about our desire, wanting a prayer warrior on our team. 

"This is an exciting step...and I was just yesterday praying for you both about this very subject! God put you on my heart, and not just you but Joel, too." 

She did encourage me to slow down and "not put the cart before the horse." Wise words. 

Anyway, so since then, we have been taking this call God has put on our lives MUCH more seriously. We have been preparing and setting up our lives for the ultimate goal of living the rest of our days (or however long He wants to work through us) for cross-cultural missions. We have gone to missions conferences and rehomed one of our cats, we have a plan for selling our house, and applications sent in to the missions organization we have come to love. I even just recently returned from Ethiopia which just further confirmed the calling on our lives (please ask me about this so I can tell you how God is working in Ethiopia. It is incredible!).

It is not easy, by any means. Heck, I have spent the last two days crying over my cat and the thought of leaving my family (especially my most favorite boys) and friends, makes my veins hurt *I am fully aware that this is weird*. But, I am brought back to this verse: "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance" (James 1:2-4) God is going to use our yes and our pain and our joy to produce good fruit for His Kingdom! 

I cannot wait to share more about this as we prepare our hearts and our lives. Gosh, Joel and I are such imperfect vessels but God is so good that He would write us into His story. That He would invite us on this wild mission to save the world! God is so good. I give thanks everyday that God loves me and that he loves the world and that he gave his son for us. We are so gosh-darn lucky. 

TLDR:

Prayer Requests: 

1. That Joel and I would heal from losing out little buddy, Friday. He is with a GREAT family and we had prayed for them a lot so it is good. Just painful. That we would find the perfect family for our other cat, Shiloh.

2. That we would lean more and more on God and continue to learn how to trust him with our lives. 

3. Prayer that we would hear from our mission organization soon! We are hopeful that we are going to be approved but we would love to have that completed.

4. That Joel and I are not looking forward so much so that we miss the beauty and opportunities around us right now. 

Roses: 

1. That Friday got a wonderful home. 

2. We have a mission on our heart and are excited to work with them. 

3. That Joel and I are unified toward this work and that we keep receiving confirmation, support, and open doors through the process so far. 

4. For the Perspectives class that Joel and I are taking again :)

Thorns: 

1. Missing Friday. 

2. Feeling like we need to get a lot done but...having to wait. 

3. Feeling lonely. Preemptively missing family. 

 "And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, ‘Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?’ Then I said, ‘Here I am! Send me’" Isaiah 6:8

Love, 

Melia Benjamin